The Dudes' Guide to Pregnancy by Bill Lloyd & Scott Finch

Author:Bill Lloyd & Scott Finch [LLOYD, BILL]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: HEA041000
ISBN: 9780446537339
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Published: 2008-05-01T16:00:00+00:00

• “The more weight you gain, the happier the baby.”

• “A baby gets a better night’s sleep on its stomach.”

• “Babies love cats, and cats love babies!”

• “Discipline starts in the delivery room.”

One subcategory of aggravating advice-givers is the Great Big Fat Person. Great Big Fat People usually have something to say regardless of the situation. When spotting a pregnant woman, they tend to give unwanted advice in the form of anecdotes about their great big fat children, like, “When Francis was a little baby, he used to love a spoonful of peanut butter before bed.” Really, chubs? Thanks for the lifesaving child-rearing tip.

The Dudes think it is safe to say you will receive absolutely no useful information from these people, unless they’re telling you which denture adhesive works best or where to get the tastiest cheese fries in town.

Awesome Dudes’ Observation

At some point during your wife’s pregnancy, you are bound to hear someone gushing fondly about how you’ll soon get to “meet” your new baby. Won’t it be great when you finally get to “meet” your new son? The Dudes call bullshit on this. We call bullshit because you won’t actually get to meet your son until he’s twenty-eight years old and has finally stopped hating you and realized that you were actually right about a few things. Instead of saying “meet,” The Dudes prefer “deal with.” Won’t it be great when you finally get to deal with your new son?

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